Under the House.

Houses here are funny. I went into the grown-ups garden next door and the house was on legs up in the air. The house is also made of wood. It is very strange, like living in a tree or something. You can go to a place that Nostailian grown-ups call "under the house". They keep all sorts of stuff there. Some keep their box-on-wheels there, some their junk, some even make it like an outdoor room which is indoors with no walls but under the house. It is really, really confucius. Some people don't do anything with it at all and Pissbums, Lizzies and Snakies move in. Snakies look fun and slithery and playful but Daddy says they bite and have spit in their mouths which make you sick and could even give your brain a serious short-circus. one Snakie is so big and strong it could catch a big grown-up Pussycat like me and strangle me and suck me up like a vaccum cleaner and eat me. I think it is called a Dyson.So I have to be really careful when I go to play under peoples under the house in case I meet some nasty Nostralian Animals. It was not like this in Homeybatter. All I had to worry about were Doggies and the odd nasty grown-up that didn't like Pussycats.

I think I am nearly old enough to have pocket money and go to the shop to buy treats. Grown-ups who like animals are very good to us. Not like the nasties who were on the box that talks the other night and were being cruel to the Moo-Cows. The good ones regularly donate treat tokens (that's pieces of paper that shops exchange for treats) to distribute to animals who are good boys and girls as pocket money. I think the place they donate to is called The World Wildlife Fund. Its like a pocket money bank for animals who are good. All I need now is pockets. I don't think this is going to be a problem because Can Car Poos and Pissbums have them. There must be a shop that sells them. They are made of fur. I think I will try Woolies.