Ducktors, Chickens, Bionics and Acrocats.

Daddy was in the grown-ups Vet today. I think they call him the Ducktor. Its a funny name but if they find one they don't like they call them Quacks. I don't know what all the bird stuff is about. Someone who is afraid to go to the Ducktor is called a Chicken. The Ducktors assistant is called an arse. So the doctors assistant is a Ducks Arse. I think they told Daddy he was too strong because they gave him tablets which are called anti-bionics.

Its not like the animals Vet where they put a fearmonitor up your bum and then laugh when you squeak. I have been to the vet a few times now and I have always been frightened but also a very good boy. The first time I was there I heard Daddy say they were going to take my jewels away. I didn't know I had jewels. I must have been very tired because I fell asleep and when I woke up apparently my jewels were gone. They must have been back in the house and they took them when I was asleep because I don't remember having them with me. I was looking at a thing called a Royal Wedding on the box that talks a while ago and there were lots of jewels. The girl who was getting married was becoming a princess and she was wearing jewels hanging from her ears. I think they might have been mine, they looked familiar.

Another time I had to go with Angie to make sure we could come to Nostalilia and they then put us into a place called quadrophene. It was nice there. It is like a pussycats hotel where you get used to Nostailia and the funny way the grown-ups talk. One of the Arses kept calling me a little daaalink and when I was sick she told me I would be Apples. I never heard of a Pussycat turning into Apples before and I am glad I got better before that happened. I think she was a fruitcake thinking that.

There is a Pissbum that runs across the roof every night and I am going to make friends with him if I can. They can walk across wires and dangle from branches and do all sorts of stuff like that. I would like to learn to do that stuff. They are like acrocats. They also have pockets called Pouches. I think that is where they keep their jewels.

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